Tuesday, 22 March 2011
I used to think that by living small - whether financially, emotionally, or mentally - I was somehow 'in solidarity' with friends or family members who were having a tough time. I would go down into the trenches of their suffering with them.
How wrong I was. It has taken me years to learn that feeling depressed will never help my friend who is feeling depressed. It's far more important - and of infinitely greater service - to feel as good as I can so that I can be of genuine service to a friend who is in need, rather than recreate their pain so that we both wallow in that pain.
The twist is this: if I'm not living small because I think that comforts those around me, I have to live for myself. And who do I choose to be? It's a question I'm revisiting and, as we can all reinvent who we are so that we embody our highest potential, it is a question that is always relevant.
Friday, 18 March 2011
Friday, 4 March 2011
The 'it' in question is non-resistance. I'm not at the level of acceptance which, to me denotes a level of active welcoming. I'm still working on being neutral, much less positive!
And, as I stumble through this year, forgetting, ignoring and perhaps sabotaging (which is always harder to see in oneself than in others), I am learning. I'm learning to let of the mind. My mind is constantly chattering, analysing, arguing and undermining. I've realised it is simply incapable of non-resistance. Resistance seems hard-wired in it - or into my mind at any rate.
So I've had to take a different approach. I'm non-resisting (!) its chatter and shifting my focus to my heart. My heart, I have discovered, is infinitely more compassionate, gentle and forgiving. It is the very embodiment of non-resistance. When I take the time (i.e. remember) to ask my heart how it feels about anything, I get the same answer: a feeling of peace.
My heart just be. It offers me glimpses of peace that wash over me briefly. Once it stayed all day! But, in general, I find I need to remember to dip into it, to slide below the mental chatter and feel my way into my heart, into non-resistance.
My heart is much wiser than my mind. And, in a true sign of its wisdom, it is also much quieter than my mind. I have to seek out that wisdom, underneath the shouting and parading of my mind. And every time I do remember to touch into it, I am enriched, even if only momentarily.